A Poem for Technophobes

            In the old days….

A COMPUTER was something on TV

From a science fiction show of note.

A window was something you hated to clean,

And a ram was the cousin of a goat.

Meg was the name of my girlfriend,

And gig was a job for the nights.

Now they all mean different things,

And that really mega bytes.

An application was for employment,

A program was a TV show.

A cursor used profanity,

And a keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something you lost with age,

A CD was a bank account.

And if you had a 3-inch floppy,

You hoped nobody found out!

Compress was what you did to the garbage,

Not something you did to a file.

And if you unzipped anything in public,

You’d be in jail for a while.

Log-on was adding wood to the fire.

Hard drive was a long trip on the road.

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived,

And a back-up happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife;

Paste you did with glue.

A web was a spider’s home

And a virus was the flu.

I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper,

And the memory in my head.

I hear nobody’s killed in a computer crash,

But when it happens, they wish they were dead.