Theory of Life

         Whatever you think of George Carlin, it must be admitted that his take on life is sometimes worth noting. Outside the box, yes—but worth our notice. You don’t have to appreciate his style to understand that he has, at various times, found a way of succinctly putting his finger on some of those human dilemmas which perennially plague humankind. 

         I think that is the case in this very short piece about life.  It is Carlin’s theory about the great mystery of life.  And like his predecessor Mark Twain who said that we should start life at 80 and work our way back to 18, Carlin also puts things in reverse, as follows...

         “The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends,” laments comedian George Carlin. “I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.  And what do you get in the end?  A Death!  What’s that, a bonus?

         “I think,” he continues, that “the life cycle is all backwards.  You should die first, get it out of the way.  Then you could live in an old age home.  You then get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, and then you go to work. 

         “You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.  You do some drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school.  You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play a lot, you have no responsibilities.

         “You become a little baby; you go back to the womb.  You spend your last nine months floating in a warm, pleasant place.... and you finish off with an orgasm!” 

         Now, that’s living!!